Dilbert and the Call of Christian Community, Part II

God-centered relationships are…part of the “glue” that helps church members remain faithful to the church.—Chuck Lawless
Southern Baptist Theological Seminary


A few years ago, I read about the two most likely times a couple tends to divorce. Number one is within the first two years of marriage. The thought being that if a couple is never able to bond and commit to one another it is easier to give up than it is to work it out. In fact, I actually heard a “marriage” therapist on the Today show say there was a trend occurring in America that counselors were beginning to call these type relationships “starter” marriages. These first tries at marriage, if you will, are when a person “tests the waters” of marriage before going on to what will be their “lifetime” commitment. How convenient. The second most likely time for a couple to divorce is after or near the last child leaving home. At this point, the couple has invested themselves in career and kids and when the last one leaves, they come to discover there is nothing left of the relationship because they were too busy with everything else. Though they had put in the time, there was no real bonding commitment.

I share this to point out that building community—even with one other person—presents challenges. Let’s face it, building a lifetime relationship can be difficult work (just consider the current American divorce rate). If it is hard to build a life with another person, just imagine the challenges when attempting to build a deeply committed biblical community. That is why I am convinced that some (perhaps most) churches never attain the type of deep community that is both spoken of and demonstrated in Scripture. Building this type of fellowship takes a big investment of both time and commitment interspersed with the fact people’s lives are just busy and messy. Whether we recognize it or not, the attitude within congregations can become, “let’s just talk about the weather, the ball game, the insane cost of healthcare but please oh please let us not go deeper to the heart because it is…well, you know.”

Does Scripture challenge us to go beyond mere surface level relationships? If we recognize that our relationships with those with which we worship is to reflect our deep commitment to Jesus to the lost world, doesn’t it suggest that the connection, at the very least, we share with other believers should look different than the relationships we have with people at our place of work? Let’s face it, we can talk about the weather, the game, and health care with anyone. So what is at stake here?

One passage gets to the heart of what the community of God should be about in its interaction with one another. Paul says to the Philippian church, “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4, ESV)

I have had firsthand experience with rivalry. I grew up watching South Carolina and Clemson battle it out on the football field. Later, I lived in North Carolina and saw the great battles between UNC and Duke on the basketball court. Seminary took the fury of rivalry to a new level in my life when Kentucky and Louisville hammered on each other at Rupp Arena or Freedom Hall. Rivalry means I love my team (so I wear my colors with pride) and hate your team (so I stomp your colors in disdain) and if for some unfortunate reason your team is able to win, it is most assuredly because your team was in cahoots with the officials or cheated. Rivalry makes for great games. Rivalry makes for great tradition. Rivalry makes headlines. In the world system, rivalry is expected and welcomed and loved and pursued.

It is not to be so in the church. There was much to bring Paul joy about the Philippians but you can not dismiss the fact these Christians were having some problems with unity. In fact, there was a controversy so intense in the church that Paul begged two battling parties—Euodia and Syntyche—to come to agreement. In spite of not knowing the nature of the disagreement, a few facts are clear. One, these ladies were Jesus followers and Gospel workers. Second, it had become necessary for Paul to ask “true companion” to intercede in the matter in order to arbitrate an agreement and ending of the conflict. (See Philippians 4:2-3)

I think it quite significant the Holy Spirit places this proceeding in Scripture. It reveals that human relationships can get rather intense and divided. Just peruse the newspaper over the last few days. Disagreement is a reality! We might not like conflict but even within the church there are times when it becomes unavoidable. Conflict is not the problem. The issue to which Paul points is the heart attitude we have toward each other. He is clear on this point—there is not room for RIVALRY. There is not room for CONCEIT (i.e. “excessive appreciation on one’s own worth or opinion”, Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary, 1973.) The call to those counted as the followers of Jesus in the life they share together is to express HUMILITY (i.e. “not proud or haughty, not arrogant, unpretentious).

The attitude which Paul says to be welcomed in the community of faith is an attitude of “count[ing] others more significant than yourselves.” He elaborates in verse four that when we are looking out for own interests that we always need to keep in mind that the interests of others need to be just as important. When I read that, I always leave thinking to myself, “Wow! That is hard.” But just in case we want to lessen the impact of those words, Paul goes on to elaborate in vv. 5-10.

The thrust of all this is clear: we who make up the church must live for the mutual benefit of one another and that benefit must be measured consistently with the character of our Lord Jesus.

How does this attitude express itself practically in our churches? More on this call and struggle next week.