Chuck E. Cheese and a Theology of Parenting, Part II

It happens when you least expect it. Your kids ask you those questions that tax the limits of your knowledge. Sometimes, you get the ones where the answer is clear its just a question of how to communicate the answer “tenderly.”

“Daddy, why is the sky blue?”

“Mommy, where do the waves in the ocean come from?”

“Daddy, when I was born, how did I get in Mommy’s belly?”

Kids ask questions. It is all tied up with growing up in a big world in which they know little about. They are curious about things and they figure with you and them living in the same house, you must possess the answers to their deepest questions. Sometimes the questions are simple and funny. Other times, they are serious and quite heart-felt. Whether serious or not, the questioning demands something clear of parents. Your kids are looking to you for the answers.

Moses told the Israelites, imagine this scenario and please know that it will happen…

“When your son asks you in time to come, ‘What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the Lord our God has commanded you?’” (Deuteronomy 6:20)

The leader of the Jewish nation wanted the people to know that as they inhabited the Promised Land and enjoyed all the goodness God had provided something big was going to happen. Their children were going to ask them, “Why do you do what you do? Why do you worship God? Why all these ‘thou shalts” and ‘thou shalt nots?’” The beauty of the circumstance was that Moses was wonderfully preparing the people for the test before it even came. Heck, he even gave them clear and concise words for answering the inevitable question.

“…then you shall say to you son, ‘We were Pharaoh’s slaves in Egypt. And the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. And the Lord showed signs and wonders, great and grievous, against Egypt and against Pharaoh and all his household, before our eyes. And he brought us out from there, that he might bring us in and give us the land that he swore to give to our fathers. And the Lord commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the Lord our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as we are this day. And it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to do all this commandment before the Lord our God, as he has commanded us.’” (Deuteronomy 6:21-25)

The implication of Moses’ teaching to these parents is clear—spiritual training is not optional among the people of God. It was a sure thing that sons (and surely, daughters) would want to know of their fathers (and surely, mothers) why bother with worshiping God. In order for “it to go well”, it was essential that the following generations be taught to fear and love God and to diligently practice the law. The way this would occur was in parents passing on the knowledge of God and the law to their children who would then pass it along to their children who would then…you get the picture!

Yet the point is mind boggling. Every parent was to be responsible for the spiritual training of their children. Again, this assumes that each parent was concerned with the things of God. If they were not, then when junior asked the question that would come, then there would be much befuddlement that day and a clear spiritual trajectory would be set.

If spiritual training is going to happen in your home, you must decide how to do it. One, you must determine what are the essentials that your children need to know. Two, you must decide how that information is going to be passed along. I have found this process lacking in many Christian homes during my years of ministry. Even if dad and mom know there is some important biblical information their kids need, they fail to take the time in intentionally planning for the transfer of that information.

Heck, I have struggled with knowing if I am giving adequate spiritual leadership in for my kids.

Let me say clearly, we are not just talking about the mere transfer of data. In essence, we are talking about the soul-care of our children. The things we know about God, Jesus and the Gospel are the things of life and death. They are of great eternal value. We can not hope that our kids will learn by osmosis. Now granted, they are learning what we think of Jesus daily by our visible example. When they see us prepare a meal and deliver it to a family whose mother has been in the hospital, they are learning something essential about God. When our kids see mom and dad have a disagreement (i.e. argument, fight, hum-dinger, etc.) and then treat one another with respect, they are learning essential truth.

Yet in the context of life, they need to know the propositional truth of Christianity through the teaching of God’s Word. They need to learn to read it…sing it…pray it and live it!

Before the day of the Jewish son questioning his dad, Moses said this to Israel…

“…these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gate.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-8)

Dad and mom need to have such a deep heart-felt relationship with God that it expresses itself in the systematic spiritual training of their children. How was this to happen? Look what Moses says…
-teach the law diligently to your kids
-do it while sitting in your house
-teach them walking down the road
-teach them at bedtime
-teach them at the breakfast table
-write the law on your hands for your kids
-put the law before your eyes for your kids
-write the law by the door of your house
-write them on your gate

…in other words, don’t miss an opportunity to saturate and surround your children in the law of the Lord. Create an environment in your home where recognition of God and His law are as regular and recognizable as a box of Cheerios. Do it in the morning. Do it at lunch. Do it at bedtime. Take a walk and do it. Do it. Do it. Do it!

The application for a Christian Dad and Mom is so very clear. We must deeply commit ourselves to creating a Gospel-full and Word-driven training of our children. Our kids are not going to be Christian just because we are. The children born into the covenant of Israel enjoyed a special relationship with God. As Christian parents, we train and teach the Gospel so that our children will know the holiness of God, the seriousness of their sin, the sacrifice of Jesus and the promise of new life. We train and teach so that they will know the truth and one day, by God’s grace, do what Jesus called in Mark 1:15, “…repent and believe in the gospel.” If we enjoy the blessing of seeing our children embrace the Gospel, we then enter the process of helping to establish and equip them in the faith.

It should be the joy of all Christian parents to be deeply involved in spiritually training their children. So you might ask, “How do I do that?” Next post, I’ll talk of practical ways for parents to make that happen.

Chuck E. Cheese and a Theology of Parenting, Part I

I had lunch last week at Chuck E. Cheese’s. This is an inevitable stop along the way of life when you have a strong marriage relationship that has resulted with God’s blessing of four children. The kids want the pizza…the red or orange drink provided at such establishments…the fun maze and slide and climbing obstacle toys…and, of course, the video games. I thank God for men and women that dreamed such things. My wallet is not so happy!

There was a time when I believed that such places (i.e. McDonalds playland, any fast food restaurant play ground, etc.) were nothing more than a place for parents to put there bad parenting skills on display for all the world. It does not take long for children to engage with one another and yell and push and generally act bad when it comes to deciding who got to the “Whack-a-mole” game first!

However, I have lightened up considerably in light of the fact that I now have four kids that do not always act as I wish. Thankfully, Kathy and I can use going to Chuck E. Cheese’s as an opportunity to teach our kids in how to think rightly (and biblically) about the world and those that live in it. We have paused in the midst of the fun to thank the Lord for the pizza he generously supplies along with the day’s activities. We thank him we are a family and that we have the blessing of playing air hockey together.

There have also been those moments when we have had to direct our kids to showing mercy by waiting on a smaller child. Lessons on forgiveness have been taught and discussed in a restaurant booth when someone has been hurt or pushed or had a toy from the happy meal taken. Kathy and I have redirected whining to thankfulness when we consider that many children in our area did not get to enjoy what we took for granted. Chuck E. Cheese’s is perhaps not the greatest of God’s blessings—some dad’s might even call it a curse—nonetheless, it demonstrates the constant need my children have of having their hearts touched by both the instruction and example of me and my wife. Granted, they are probably not even thinking about this at all but Scripture makes one thing clear, I sure as heck need to be thinking about it.

This was particularly true for the Israelites as they prepared to cross over into the Promised Land after forty years of wondering of the desert. In the book of Deuteronomy, Moses reminds the people that they are folks in covenant relationship with God. First, it was essential for them to remember and practice the covenant law in order for them to know the best blessing possible in the place God had in store for them. Second, it was imperative that the adults make the covenant known to their children. As Moses says in Deuteronomy 6:1-3,

“Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the rules that the Lord your God
commanded me to teach you, that you do them in the land to which you are going
over, to possess it, that you may fear the Lord you God, you and your son and your
son’s son, by keeping all his statues and his commandments, which I command you,
all the days of your life, and that you days may be long. Here, therefore, O Israel,
and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you...”

When you peruse Deuteronomy 6, three essentials are clear that Christian parents do well in practicing in teaching their own children and in creating a “God-ward” environment in their home.

First, the Israelites needed to hear what God said and decide it was important. Bottom-line: Did the Israelites cherish their relationship in such a way that they desired to love God by keeping his commands and then making sure that they instructed their children in that way. If for nothing else, it was important for Israel to embrace the law in order “that it may go well with you...” (Dt. 6:3) It is utterly clear that Moses was communicating to the Israelites—PAY ATTENTION TO THIS! IT IS NOT OPTIONAL! IT IS CENTRAL!

Actually, they had had forty years to think about it!

It seems to me that in a very real way that Christian parents reveal their level of love for Christ by the way they parent their children. Parenting has a way of showing what is most important to a mom or dad. Their frame of reference comes through in the decisions they make in regards to their kids. In other words, there is something driving their parenting style.

Let me say this. No parent can bring their children into a relationship with God—that is his job alone. However, mom and dad greatly influence many of the ways that kids think of God. It seems so clear that God’s design is for dad and mom to be the main spiritual influencers in little Jimmy and Jane’s life. If spiritual direction and training and nurture is happening in your home it is because the truth of Deuteronomy 6:5-6 is taking root in your heart,

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul
and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be
on your heart.”

When one becomes a follower of Christ, he or she has considered the cost and answered that gracious call by responding in faith. The follower of Christ has affections that are set on Christ. Those affections translate by seeping over into the relationships of the Christ-follower and the primary relationship is with each other’s spouse and then, with children that God may give.

If you are a mom or dad, is your life in Christ such that you have completely embraced its importance and the impact it will have on your children in witness of word and deed? Decide that influencing your children for Christ is important!

I’ll speak more on this topic in the next entry. God bless you parents as God gives you opportunity to impact your children’s hearts!